Love Is Waiting

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of His own, so that you may proclaim the virtues of the One who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9

You were chosen.

I was chosen.

We were chosen for a life and eternity that are far from what we actually deserve.

We were {all} chosen.

When I come to the table, I bring some pretty hefty baggage with me. Please allow me to get comfortable, because we might be here a minute.

I've got my American Tourister "FEAR" bag.

I've got one Case Logic "SELFISHNESS" bag.

One Swiss Army "DECEPTION" bag.

And, make a little room for my Samsonite "ADDICTION" bag.

I've got one more carry-on. I try not to bring too much attention to this one, mainly because I thought it wasn't as important...as life-altering...as sinful. 

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

God finally rocked my world when he said, "Sarah, get the Caboodle out. It's time we work on that one."

I am most ashamed of this one. I have no excuses worthy of defending this baggage. No justification suitable to explain away my inaction. For too long, I have done nothing. I have lived inside my comfortable box of status quo. For too long, I have checked off boxes to satisfy what I thought was my obedience.

Women's Bible study....check.

Sunday School teacher....check.

Children's ministry volunteer...check.

Daily prayer....check.

Occasional journaling....check.

"You shall give to him [poor] freely..."....we don't have enough money.

"...satisfy the desire of the afflicted..."....that's too messy.

"Go. Sell what you possess, and give to the poor..." ...I need the new iPhone.

"to visit orphans and widows in their affliction."...change the channel. It's not there if I ignore it.

"correct oppression. Bring justice to the fatherless..."...that's someone else's job. They're better equipped.

So, what have I been doing?

Nothing.

Have I been faithfully obedient?

No.

God grabbed Brad and me by the shoulders and simply said. 

"Now. You move now."

So, in February 2014, we moved. We began contacting adoption agencies with a flood of emotion. We didn't have a clue, people. Not...a....clue. We moved anyway. We knew God would explain later. We knew that even though it didn't make sense then, it would one day. For once in my life, I terrifyingly moved forward with no plan and no road map.

In mid-March, we were approved with a local adoption agency in central AR. We were actually doing this. After weeks of prayer, conversations with friends who've adopted, and way more prayer, I felt the need to cast the net one more time.

God decided a detour was in order.

In April, a new agency popped up. We knew that God wanted us to go and meet with this husband and wife team. After many attempts to schedule a meeting and failed childcare arrangements, I was discouraged. I was tired. Emotionally spent. I sensed a forfeiture in my future. It was too much. Too hard.

Y'all. God shows up in those moments in the most beautiful way. I received a card in the mail from a sweet friend offering the strength and encouragement I needed to keep going. Through her, God breathed into my spirit. "This is not going to be easy, Sarah. But, it will be worth it."

In mid-April, we met with an agency that would solidify the "how" to our obedience. Brad and I knew. We knew we were right were God wanted us to be. Friends, it's in those moments, that peace is found. Our worry, our fears, our anxiety....they were gone. We knew that He would be in the details. We just needed to be ready and willing.

Are we ready? Most days. (Just being real, here.)

Are we willing? Every step of the way.

I've always heard that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. We are a living, breathing, example of that. We are not equipped. We are not ready. We have not planned for this.

We had plans.

We have debt.

We have a car that will be um, cozy.

We don't have another bedroom.

I want to get caught up in these details. I want to give reasons why this is a horrible idea. Why we, are the wrong people. Why someone else is so much better suited for adoption. 

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

He'll show up. He always does. 

He'll provide. He always does.

He'll direct and guide. He promised He would.

That's all we have. His words...His promises.

But, that's all we need.

He is enough.

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." Isaiah 43:2

So, we stand ready to meet a need. To show a birth mom, a baby, a birth family that we all have weight in this world. We are {all} "a chosen race, a royal priesthood". We are humbled to be a part of God's plan to illustrate His love, mercy, and grace to those around us. We are not going to be "selected" or "matched" with a birth mom based on a profile or pictures of our family. We are not advertising or marketing. We strongly believe that somewhere, a birth mom needs us, and we need her. We believe that God will bring us together. We don't know who she is or where she lives. 

Maybe she's your cousin in Florida.

Or your brother's girlfriend in Cabot.

Maybe she's the teenager at the abortion clinic in Little Rock.

Maybe she's our neighbor.

What we do know...

Our homestudy will be completed by the end of June. We will be legally ready to accept a baby anytime after that. If you know of a need or situation, please contact me at dzsarahbradshaw@yahoo.com. 

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

How can you help?

There is no way we can do this on our own. No way. We will absolutely need everyone's help along the way. These are ways that you can play a part in God's plan for our lives:

1. Prayer-This is the single most important way that you can journey alongside us. We need every.single.prayer. Add us to your prayer group, your Sunday School class prayer chain, your small group prayer time. Scream it from the mountaintop. God will hear our cries. 
2. Be aware- There is no way that we can be aware of every need out there. If you know of a need, let us know. Mention our names and our heart to be obedient to God's calling through adoption. Our agency will serve as a liaison between us and a birth family, but we desire a very open relationship. We want the opportunity to love a birth mom exactly where she is.
3. Financial Support- We do not have $15,000+ just hanging out in reserve for adoption. This was NOT our plan. We will need help along the way. Once a birth mom has been located, we will need support. We will have an online way to give, and will probably have some fundraisers as well, but we want your giving to be God-led.

Thank you for loving us and supporting us as we answer God's call on our lives. For now...

"I will move ahead, bold and confident.

Taking every step in obedience.

While I'm waiting, I will serve You.

While I'm waiting, I will worship.

While I'm waiting, I will not faint.

I'll be running the race even while I wait."

(John Waller)